Part Time

It's official.  I started as a part-time employee at St. Vincent Women's hospital March 16th.  If you are worried - I haven't changed jobs or locations, just my employment status from PRN or per diem to part-time.  It has been a decision long in the making - one that I've put off for awhile.  It means less flexibility (per diem is the ultimate in flexibility!)  adding a weekend rotation, working every third Saturday AND Sunday, as well as a holiday requirement (UGH!)  It has been 7 years since I've had a weekend requirement and worked a holiday, and really I haven't missed it at all.  It is one of the frustrations of working as a floor nurse - holidays, weekends, nights - all of those undesireables are on the table.  But, the time has come for me to pick up benefits, start thinking about retirement someday and it really was the right thing to do.  Plus, earning PTO is a good thing - a very good thing.

 

Honestly it may even allow me to work 'less', eventually, than I have been for the last year, and I have a feeling I will like this change, which begs the question - 'why has this taken so long for me to take this leap?' - and yes, this is a leap of faith for me!  I hate working Sundays.  I really want control over my ability to worship and there is something about the re-charge I get from church each week that I just can't replace, with anything.  The commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy has had some significant blessings for me and I didn't want to give any of that up.  I also couldn't stand the thought of working on Christmas!  Is that crazy?!  It's one day a year!  But, the thought of getting up, leaving my family and going to work on that day just drives me crazy.

 

So, as J.D. and I realized the need for something different in our financial picture, and the discussion of working part time started to circulate in our conversations, I really had to think, pray, ponder and work through all the reasons that I've been so resistant.  It really is what our family needs - better benefits, steady hours, earned paid time off and when I prayed about it I totally wanted the answer to be 'no way!  you can't work Sundays!'.  But the answer wasn't that.  The answer was more of a peaceful:  Yes, you are working where you are supposed to be.  Yes, you are a powerful force for good in the patients, families and co-workers you work with.  Yes, you are needed there and, Yes, that is where I want you to be.

 

I've made a goal to read the Bible, cover to cover.  I've tried before, but this time I mean it.  It may take me a long time (like several years!)  but I'm determined and I want it to be meaningful.  I finished the New Testament in December after two years, so all I have left is the Old Testament!  So far this year I'm making progress and recently I've been reading about Abraham and the sacrifice he was willing to make of his only son - a sacrifice that went against what he knew to be truth.  But, that act was what God wanted him to do and he was willing to sacrifice his knowledge/understanding of 'truth' or 'what was right' to do what God was asking him to do.

 

It just makes me think of how many times do I let what is perceived as 'right' or 'truth' - get in the way of what I really should be doing, or what I'm being prompted to do by the spirit.  Do we trust that God will lead us to where we need to be?  Do we trust that He will provide the way for us, if we give up what we want - even if it is righteous desires and wants?  Do we really listen and act on His will for us and does He trust us because of that?   

 

Does working on Sunday mean I'm disobeying the commandments?  Is it that cut and dry?  I don't think so.  As I've worked through this decision to actually put myself in a position where that is a requirement, I've done a lot of praying and studying.  Working on Sunday can be a blatant disobedience, it all depends on your motives and the job.  Women have babies on Sundays - they always have and I'm pretty sure they always will.  God did not design our bodies to not get sick on Sundays - He also didn't design our bodies to not go into labor just because it's Sunday.  Working with new mothers and babies is like a calling for me.  It is what I feel called to do and as a result that necessitates that the hours I work revolve around that, not the days of the week, it is just unavoidable.  I also have come to understand that our attitudes and how we approach the Sabbath, have much more to do with how we keep it, than almost anything that we 'do' on that day.  Sure, we should try to limit our activities to things that center on worship, but working with people, helping them in a time of need, easing their pain, sharing their burdens, teaching them how to work with a new little life, those are some of the most holy things I have ever done.  They are an expression of my awe and gratitude for my Savior and my God.  They are in some ways, how I worship.